If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
