why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
