he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
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I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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