We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
