wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
