just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
