two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
