nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
