despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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