It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
send nudes
from the living room?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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