I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize