So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
