What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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