How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
