Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
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