They should really pass out barf bags in church
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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