he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If I die, sorry about rent.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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