She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Operation Purity has been aborted
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
