the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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