Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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