if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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