Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
