Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think I won the penis lottery.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
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What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
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I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
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