You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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