I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You left your underwear on the fireplace
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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