..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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