I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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