Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
