I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
