Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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