i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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