he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
