If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Im part way to drunk.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
