my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
