my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
