were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
