We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
