i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
