The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
