Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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