Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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