am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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