Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
