the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize