3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
