she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
