you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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