my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
