why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize