We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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