We named our party play list daddy issues
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
