the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
