woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
