Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
