if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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