you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
