I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
