he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
