Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
