so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize