the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
