Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I want to have your abortion
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
