first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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