soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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