Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
