I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
