sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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